You can have a Jewish wedding without the God parts

Neither of you believes much of it, both of you want the wedding to be recognizably Jewish, and you've been assuming those two things are in conflict. They aren't, and there's a whole category of officiant for exactly this.

Can you have a Jewish wedding without religion?

Yes. Humanistic Judaism is an established movement with ordained officiants, built around Jewish culture, history, and ethics without theological claims. Secular and cultural Jewish ceremonies keep the chuppah, the glass, the ketubah, and the shape of the seven blessings, with the liturgy rewritten so it's about the couple and the community rather than about God.

What does the ceremony include?

Nearly everything a religious ceremony does, adapted. In practice:

The chuppah (the canopy the couple stands under, standing for the home they're building) is unchanged. It carries no theological weight, so it needs no adaptation.

A ketubah (the Jewish marriage contract) with a humanistic text — mutual promises between two people, witnessed by the community rather than by God. These texts are widely available from the same sellers that sell traditional ones.

The seven blessings, rewritten. The traditional set moves outward from wine to creation to humanity to this couple. Humanistic versions keep that widening arc and ground it in nature, human dignity, and the people in the room. Seven guests still read them.

Breaking the glass, unchanged. It's a gesture, not a prayer.

Wine, unchanged, with a secular toast in place of the blessing.

What's left out: the betrothal formula invoking the laws of Moses and Israel, the Hebrew blessings addressed to God, and references to Jerusalem or the Temple. Guests who aren't listening closely often don't notice a thing.

Who officiates them?

Three groups. Rabbis ordained by the Society for Humanistic Judaism and the International Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism, who do this as their whole practice. Independent and unaffiliated officiants, many of whom work comfortably across the range from traditional to fully secular. And some Reform, Reconstructionist, and Renewal rabbis, who will lead a ceremony with the God language substantially reduced if you ask.

That last group is worth asking about directly rather than assuming. Plenty of ordained rabbis are entirely comfortable running a ceremony that doesn't address God, and they'll tell you where their line is.

What does it cost?

Generally the low end of the market — often $400 to $1,200 as of 2026, against $800 to $1,800 for a typical rabbi. Humanistic and independent officiants tend to be less expensive, partly because more of them work independently rather than through a congregation.

Is it a "real" Jewish wedding?

Depends entirely on who's asking, and the honest answer is worth more than a reassuring one. Culturally and to nearly everyone present, yes. It looks Jewish, sounds Jewish, and contains the elements people recognize. Under Orthodox or Conservative interpretation it isn't a halachically valid Jewish marriage — but neither is a Reform interfaith wedding, so this isn't a line that separates you from most American Jewish couples.

Legally, it's a marriage like any other, as long as your officiant is authorized in your state.

What do we tell family who wanted something traditional?

Talk about it before the invitations, not at the rehearsal. The specific fear on the other side is usually not doctrinal — it's that the wedding won't feel Jewish and that something is being lost. That fear is answerable, because most of what they picture is still there.

What tends to work: name the things that are staying. The canopy, the contract, the glass, seven people reading blessings, the wine. Then offer one thing they care about specifically — a grandparent's tallit (prayer shawl) as the chuppah cloth, a Hebrew song, one blessing kept in the original.

What doesn't work is presenting it as a subtraction. You're not removing religion from their grandchild's wedding; you're having the wedding you can both stand under and mean.

Where do we find these officiants?

The Society for Humanistic Judaism maintains a directory of its ordained rabbis and certified officiants. Beyond that, filter for it — Hey Mazel lists movement on every profile, including humanist and independent, so you can see everyone in your metro who fits without emailing anyone to ask.

When you write, say what you want plainly: "we want a Jewish ceremony without God language." Every officiant in this category has heard that sentence many times and none of them will be offended by it.