Guides

Straight answers to what couples actually ask us. Every one of these gets checked once a year, and each shows when it was last looked at.

• A cantor can marry you, and it's a different kind of ceremonyThe difference between a rabbi and a cantor, who can legally officiate, why couples choose a cantor, and what having both actually costs.
• A rabbi and a priest can share your ceremony. Here's how it actually works.How co-officiated weddings are structured, which clergy will and won't do them, what to ask in the first conversation, and how couples divide the ceremony without it feeling like two weddings.
• Book your officiant nine to twelve months out, sooner for a fall SundayWhen to book a rabbi or cantor, which dates go first, what to do if you're inside three months, and the Jewish calendar dates that will quietly rule out your weekend.
• Both families can see themselves in the ceremony without it doubling in lengthPractical ways to include two traditions in one wedding, where to put each one, how to handle the conversations with parents, and what to do when the requests conflict.
• Breaking the glass is the one part everyone knows. Here's what it means.Why the glass is broken at a Jewish wedding, who breaks it, what to use so it doesn't go wrong, and how to explain it to guests in one sentence.
• Most rabbis won't officiate during Shabbat. A Saturday wedding is still possible.Why Saturday weddings are complicated in Judaism, what "after sundown" means for your timeline in each season, and how to find an officiant who will marry you on a Saturday.
• Plenty of rabbis officiate interfaith weddings. Here's how to find one.Which movements permit interfaith weddings, why a rabbi might say no, and how to find one who will say yes without making you feel like you're asking for a favor.
• The chuppah, explained for the people who've never stood under oneWhat the chuppah is, what it means, who holds it, what it costs to rent or build, and how to handle it when half the family has never seen one.
• The ketubah is a contract, and you get to choose what it saysWhat a ketubah is, the difference between traditional and egalitarian and interfaith texts, who signs it, what it costs, and how to order one without a rush fee.
• The questions worth asking an officiant before you book oneWhat to ask in the first email, what to ask on the call, the answers that should worry you, and how to tell whether someone is right for your wedding.
• The seven blessings, and how to give seven people a jobWhat the sheva brachot are, what they say, who reads them, how to adapt them for an interfaith or secular ceremony, and the week of dinners that follows.
• What a Jewish wedding officiant actually costsReal fee ranges for rabbis, cantors, and independent officiants, what's usually included, what gets billed extra, and how to ask about money without it being awkward.
• What an interfaith ceremony actually looks like, minute by minuteA worked running order for an interfaith Jewish wedding, which elements are easy to include, which need a conversation, and how to keep it under thirty-five minutes.
• You can have a Jewish wedding without the God partsWhat a humanistic or secular Jewish ceremony includes, who officiates them, how the traditional blessings get adapted, and what to tell family who expect something more traditional.
• You don't need to belong to a synagogue to find a rabbiHow to hire a rabbi when you're not a member anywhere, whether you have to join, what independent officiants offer, and how to ask without feeling like you're crashing.