Legally almost anyone can marry you. Jewishly, it depends who you ask.

Your mother keeps saying "the rabbi" like the rabbi is a specific person you've already met. You don't have one, you haven't belonged to a synagogue since high school, and the officiant you liked most at your friend's wedding was a Jewish educator from Oakland. So here's who marries Jewish couples, and what changes depending on which one you call.

Do you need a rabbi to have a Jewish wedding?

No. Rabbis, cantors, and independent officiants all marry Jewish couples, and which one you want is a question about fit rather than standing. What changes is what your officiant knows, what the ceremony sounds like, and whether a particular Orthodox or Conservative community would later treat the marriage as binding under halacha, which is Jewish religious law. That last question is decisive for some couples and irrelevant to others, and it's worth knowing which you are.

Who can legally marry you?

Your marriage is legal when someone your state authorizes leads a ceremony and a valid license gets signed and returned. Who counts as authorized varies: most states accept any ordained clergy member, many accept judges and clerks, and some require officiants to register first. Virginia asks ministers for circuit court authorization, New York City runs its own registration through the City Clerk, and Pennsylvania will issue a self-uniting license with no officiant at all.

Call the clerk who issues your license and ask two questions: does this person qualify, and where does the signed license go afterward. Rules vary by state and sometimes by county, and the call is free. A ketubah (the Jewish marriage contract, usually signed just before the ceremony) is not a civil document and doesn't replace any of this.

What does a rabbi bring?

Ordination after several years of study in Jewish text and law, and that training tends to show up as commentary: why this blessing, what this line meant when it was written, a personal address about the two of you. Most rabbis want two to four conversations first. Rabbis in the major movements also answer to those movements. As of 2026 the Rabbinical Assembly, the Conservative movement's rabbinic body, does not permit its members to officiate interfaith weddings, and Orthodox rabbis don't either, while Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis decide individually and many say yes. More on how that plays out.

What does a cantor bring?

Ordination as clergy, after several years of study, in leading a congregation in prayer through music. A cantor, or chazzan (KHAH-zahn), can lead a wedding start to finish, and couples seek them for the sound, because the blessings were written to be sung. Cantors belong to movements too, so a Conservative cantor is bound by the same interfaith rule as a Conservative rabbi. Ask anyone the same question.

What does an independent officiant bring?

Training specifically in building and leading ceremonies, through programs like the Celebrant Foundation and Institute, alongside Jewish education that in many cases runs as deep as anyone's. Some are Jewish educators, some came through seminary without taking a pulpit, some have spent fifteen years doing nothing but weddings. What that buys you is time and range. Someone doing this full time may lead dozens of weddings a year, where a congregational rabbi fits weddings around a whole community's calendar, and a lot of them specialize in ceremonies where one partner didn't grow up with any of this.

Across all three, fees run roughly $500 to $2,500 depending on the metro, with travel usually extra. Here's what officiants charge and what's included.

Will the marriage count as Jewish?

Yes. A wedding led by any of these three is a Jewish wedding, and for most American Jewish couples that's the whole answer. If you already know you want a specific Orthodox or Conservative community to treat the marriage as binding under halacha, there's more to ask about, and the rest of this section is for you.

That recognition turns on two witnesses the community accepts as valid, and in practice on a mesader kiddushin, the person who arranges the betrothal under Jewish law. Ask any officiant directly whether they serve in that role and who they'd use as witnesses. Ask early, because it shapes who you can hire. Those requirements describe what one set of institutions asks for. They're not a measure of anyone's Jewishness.

What about having a friend get ordained online?

In much of the country it works, though not everywhere, and the rules have moved with litigation over the past decade. Call the clerk in the county issuing your license before you build a plan around it, because this is the credential question that varies most.

The real tradeoff isn't legal. Your friend knows you and has probably never built a Jewish ceremony, so plenty of couples split the job: the friend handles the legal signing and the personal remarks, and a rabbi, cantor, or independent officiant leads whichever Jewish pieces the couple wants, for a few hundred dollars rather than a full fee. Some will co-lead and rehearse with your friend beforehand. Ask directly, because most officiants have done it.

What about Saturday?

Shabbat, the Jewish sabbath, runs from Friday sundown to Saturday nightfall, and most rabbis and cantors won't officiate during it. Many will officiate once it ends, which is why "after sundown" is the common answer. Nightfall runs roughly 40 to 70 minutes after sunset, so a June ceremony starts close to nine and a December one no earlier than about 5:15. Some officiants across all three types will take a Saturday afternoon; ask rather than assume either way. More on Saturday weddings.

Where do you find one?

Email six or eight people on the same day with your date, your venue, and the question that actually matters to you. Availability decides more of this than anything else, and asking your real question first saves weeks. Start with officiants in New York City, Los Angeles, or Chicago, and bring the questions worth asking to the first call.