The seven blessings, and how to give seven people a job

You've got a long list of people who mean something to you and about two speaking roles to hand out. This is the part of a Jewish wedding that solves that problem, and most couples don't realize it until someone else's wedding shows them.

What are the sheva brachot?

The sheva brachot (SHEH-vah brah-KHOTE, "seven blessings") are seven short blessings recited over a cup of wine near the end of a Jewish wedding ceremony. They move outward in scale: the first is over the wine itself, then creation in general, then humanity, then the couple, and the last celebrates the joy of these two specific people. Each takes about twenty seconds.

What do they actually say?

The arc is the interesting part, and it's worth knowing because it explains why they don't feel like seven versions of the same thing.

1. Over the wine.
2. That everything was created for God's glory.
3. That humanity was created.
4. That people were made in a divine image, capable of building more people.
5. A hope that Jerusalem will be rejoiced in and gathered.
6. That this couple will be as happy as the first couple in the garden.
7. The long one — joy, gladness, delight, love, peace, and companionship, ending with the sound of celebration in the streets.

The seventh is the one people remember. It's a list of ten kinds of happiness in a row, and read well it's the emotional peak of the ceremony.

Who reads them?

Traditionally seven honored guests, one blessing each. In practice this is the single most useful structure in a Jewish wedding, because it turns seven people into participants: grandparents, siblings, close friends, the aunt who introduced you, a friend who'd otherwise have no role.

Assign them in advance, in writing, with the transliteration and translation printed on a card. Someone reading Hebrew they don't know, in front of two hundred people, without having seen it before, is a small cruelty. Ask whether each person wants Hebrew, English, or both — plenty prefer English and will be relieved you asked.

In Orthodox practice the readers are men. Everywhere else, anyone.

Can we do them at an interfaith wedding?

Yes, and many couples do. There are three common approaches, all in regular use.

Read them as written, in Hebrew and English, by whichever guests you choose, including non-Jewish family. Nobody is required to be Jewish to read a blessing aloud at a wedding.

Use an adapted English version. Plenty of officiants have interfaith texts that keep the seven-part structure and the widening arc while adjusting the specific God language and the Jerusalem reference. Ask yours what they use.

Or keep the structure and replace the content — seven people, seven short blessings, written by you or drawn from both families' traditions. This works beautifully at secular and interfaith weddings and it's the version guests frequently say they liked best.

How long does it take?

Three to five minutes for all seven with handoffs between readers, longer if each is read in Hebrew and then English. That's real time in a ceremony you're trying to keep near thirty minutes, so decide early whether you're doing both languages.

A practical staging note: seven people coming up one at a time is slow. Either seat them in the front row on the aisle, or have all seven come up together and stand to one side. Your officiant will have a preference and should be asked.

What are sheva brachot dinners?

The blessings are also recited at festive meals for the week after the wedding — traditionally seven nights, hosted by different friends and family, each with new guests present. Observant couples still do the full week. Plenty of others do one or two dinners in the days after, which has quietly become popular among couples who aren't otherwise traditional.

The appeal is obvious once you've been to one. Everyone has flown in, nobody has left yet, and it's the only meal of the whole event where the couple can actually talk to people. If your out-of-town guests stay through Sunday, a single low-key dinner the night after is worth more than most of what you'll spend money on.

Do we need wine?

A cup of wine, shared by the couple at the end. Grape juice is completely standard and nobody will notice or comment, which matters if either of you doesn't drink. Some couples use a cup that belonged to a grandparent, which is one more way to put someone in the room who isn't there.